When things go wrong

Heeeellllooooo~ I am so damn full now~ Just had my lunch.After a hard man work =.= Haih..Talk about what happened.Valentines was kinda off.Haih~ but atleast I got my coffee..That never taste that good.I am sad.Emo.IT SUCKS~haih ...I just kept quiet,because I felt like no one would understand what I say,so i just gave up in explaining.I have no one to turn to.Recently I lost someone I loved,like a F*cking lot.Made me thinking about it everyday and night.And i can not sleep,Maybe a 5hours sleep a day.Because Everytime I lay on my bed looking at the ceiling I felt like I was alone again.Like before.Hmm.. Actually I know many people around me just wants advantage,wanting me to help them do many favors and all.Cheat my heart etc.Farkkkkkk... Sien jor~ Life is what?! Sometimes I really wish I can restart my life,fly to a place where no one knows me,be normal for abit,get lost! Sometimes I wish that the worlds end tomorrow,because I feel life is not fair for me.Ya,life is not fair I know,but atleast people gets to be fair once.I have nothing.I never asked for anything,I do it myself,but obstacles.Farrkkk em' =.= Haih... I was glad Valentines was over.Because I cried..The moment my tears fall, every single just continue goes wrong. Hellooo~~ how strong U want me to be?! I am just HUMAN .

Hello

Okay this is new.=) After a stress time of thinking.I decided to re-open my blog.This time i won't wanna make it so bored.First,I have to find some pro to teach me how to make my blog looks awesome,cause now is just all plain pink.ZzzZZ.. Its valentines day today! I wish every one HAPPY VALENTINES DAY.Enjoy!single people don't frown.Go for single parties! haha.. SWeeeeeeettttt~ Stay tune for more.


                                     

Have been awhile

Hello people..If i got any.Haha..So many things I want to do in my life.I am getting more aggressive in what I want in my life now.I don't know why,and I can't explain it out in words.Maybe someone that inspired me to be who I want to be.I've met people,who let me see more in this world.How hard they became their dream.And I want that feeling.I want my dream!I haven't yet had the confidence to do so.Still stuck here.So you are seeing me writing my blog now.I want to sing.I want to write a song.I want to record it.I want to perform.I want to go outside this world.I want to leave.I want to be loved.I want alot.I know if I take the first step,many people will get hurt  by me,But Then..I know if i start my game,I can not stop.I have to do it until I reach where I am.

Scared

My heart pounding fast and unsteady.I ask myself,why are you so afraid?! Actually I was weak.I feel so frustrated till I really don't know what to do.Sometimes I get so mad,I just want to take a knife and stab him! He is just like a ghost haunting for me.Every single day.Effecting my everyday life.Why did he came back to haunt me?!Is anyone there to save me?!Everything was over.None of you can be trusted!None of you.Everyday..I fear.I don't know what I fear actually.I think..the only thing i am afraid to lose,is that 'you'.Hm..I regret of everything i've did before.All the tolerating somehow seems bullshit.What am I saying?!I hate this.All of this.If there really is nothing is going to stop this.I think,I only will have one choice left.When that time comes.Everything is for sure to be gone.GOne once and for all.

Update for so long

Hello readers! ( if I even have any)


Such a long time no updating.Really have no mood to write for this pass few weeks or months.Don't even remember.Many things changed!Life is getting so miserable.Bored.It was always about money money money.I am getting fatter,uglier and tired.Lazy like crazy.Still thinking whether I wanna study or not.My mum keep asking me the same old question everyday.STudy study study.How about  my family work?!Will my dad even let me.Seriously.I really have no idea.The feel some how just flew away.I don't see any support.Isit my fault for making people not caring about me anymore?!Or isit their problem?!

Why will I become like this you ask?!

Because I feel life became really very not fair.Not even a single bit.I don't have that heart to do something for anyone,no heart to do anything for myself too.I want people to care for me!MORE! then me always tolerating with others.What I want?!Anyone cared or asked?!Perhaps no.Because everyone only cares about what they want instead of others.Then what's the point of me being different?!Its very tired.Extreme TIRED.The worst part is.People don't even know you did something for them,instead they say that you're just a SO hai.Life...Not fair.AT alll!