No fair

16th of November 2010

Confess...

To my dearest ah ma(my aunt who looked after me since i was 2months old/my other mum),

I wish u would hear me n understand me inside.Sorry,for all the wrongs that i did.I am just 18,in your eyes,i will always be a lil girl.I know i kinda break your heart,but u did break mine too,for saying i m a bad girl,i mm sang seng.I will not admit that!because,family is still very important to me in life.In the future,whether u like it or not,i am still gonna look after u,i won't want u to end up in old folks home.I will earn as much as i can,so u can go many places,eat nice things,maybe having whatever u want in life.I am stuck now.I have been going out every single day,till late night.Is not cause i really want to play.We really go yam char,chit chat like shit.I never smoke nor drink.i hate it!You know why i don't like to stay home?!Staying home really makes me feel very stress and down.No mood.All i hear is yabbing,than this one stab my back that one stab my back,i am the youngest so i can be disrespected?!The ones stabbing me are my brothers.What would i feel?!My family!U all always give me hope than let me down.What would i feel?!i get my P that i get my car,now?!My brother call my dad to not buy me one yet?!Than what is the difference with having n not having a P?Call me to go research but than now,say that i don't need college,just take small courses or go for night classes.I know,want me to help in the family right?!Ever asked what i wanted?!I can say,NO!Hm...What would i feel?!Always about money?!Family being like so hais?This talk bout this talk bout that?!Must it be so complicated?!i rather run off and be alone.Really..I sound rude right?!I know!But its what i feel..i love u ok!I just don't show it out!But if anyone asked,i will say my aunt,no matter how,i still love her.You can ask my friends.Even u don't like ah joe.U really think he wants to hide?!Many times he wants to talk to u,but...I say no.Because i know u don't like him.He knows his wrong.I tell him,no matter how,u r still important.Love me love my family!if not don't love.I tell him.


Damn not fair..

Hello readers...I live with my second brother.You know when was the happiest moment i had with him before?!Was when i was form1 he fall for this girl,He told me about his feelings for her and asked for my opinion.I can tell u,u will never know how happy i was.For that moment in my life,i really felt like i was his sister for once!Thanks to some fuck bitch,keep putting fire infront of my brother,now he kinda like hate me.THANKS BITCH!FOR RUINing my life.=](i'll come back to this bitch later).I love my brothers,honestly, i swear to god!With all my life.When i was 13,my mum bought me a computer.People that knows me would know my dad married 3times,so he is basicly my step brother,but we don't count this way.So than i had a computer,i was damn happy.Last time when we use to play friendster?!Ya..I got a boyfriend.So he found out.Than he don't ever let me touch the com again.My Own mum bought it for me to play,he shifted it into his room.When i touch right?!He will fuck kao me gao gao.=].Awesome!So than i think.nvm la,my brother just give it to him.Than i saved up money,to buy a lappy for myself.My own money,with some borrowing from my cousin n mum.Than..We got this wifi thing right?!My dad pays the internet.But in order for me to use the wifi,i have to pay my brother rm50 just to use the line.So he untung 50 for nothing lo.Monday to friday,7p.m. till 10p.m..saturday and sundays,morning anytime till 10 in the night.But guess what?!The router is in his room,he on i can play,he don't on i can not play.==Than i came out to work myself,i registered maxis broadband.BUT!!!!I still pay my brother 50 every month,eventhough i never use the wifi anymore.You know why?!Because i know he is my brother!And I FUCKING LOVE HIM WITH MY HEART!He needs money,he is 30,he needs to use more than me.So..Ofcause i still pay him la.GEt me?!I don't hate him,just..sometimes,just feel so angry!But i still love him.

Bitch time..

This bitch is actually my eldest brother's gf.She looks so fuck nice infront of u,but than stabs u gao gao behind.She likes to spoil my family.I don't know why.In the gf way,she is 100% awesome,but when it comes to being human,she sucks!Once,i think form 4,Which i don't play friendster anymore,and..i never delete anything,i have old pictures bout me and one of my ex,sending testi and stuff.Guess what?!She print everything out for my father to see,and my dad has heart attack one,he can not take pressure.This bitch,keep adding fire and oil infront of my dad.My dad didn't even ask me.And this stupid me,didn't even know what the fuck was going on.My dad was mad at me for 3 months.=].As a so call ''ah sou'',u should come talk to me first,but NOOOOO~~She must straight shoot me in the chest and die.Cool right?!You know whats wrong with my family?!They will never ask u why or what happened one.They see,they shoot,make up stories themselves and than like this lo.

Fun?Who wants to stay home when going outside feels so free,and coming home u always cry?!